Quality Time

I’m not sure if you’ve spent much time studying Love Languages. But after spending over 4 years with my oldest, it has become unquestionable that her Love Language is Quality Time. And it becomes very apparent – in a 4 year old kind of way – when her love tank is EMPTY!  Her low fuel light has been glowing for a couple weeks, but instead of just filling her up, I thought I could get away with just putting in a gallon at a time.  That didn’t work. The kid needed a full tank of love…. And she needed it NOW.

So, Saturday morning, we went on a date.  I thought we could go to breakfast, just her and I, spend some time talking and just get caught up with each other.  She was in love with the idea!  I asked her where she wanted to go and she didn’t even have to think twice about it. “Remember that blue place next to CVS that has pancakes??!”  So, that’s where we went.

In my mind, breakfast was our date. We had a great time. I enjoyed eggs and she loved her Mickey Mouse pancake. We talked, we laughed. It was good to be one-on-one with her. We got into the van and I said something about going home.  Apparently she had different ideas, because she politely reminded me, “we still haven’t gone on our date!” So we spent 5 minutes discussing where we should go and what we should do. I nixed the idea of driving to the mall. She didn’t think CVS qualified as a date.  So we compromised. We stopped to visit Great Grandma for a bit and then headed off to Family Dollar (yes, I realize this will not count as ‘shopping’ when she gets older). We walked together, aisle by aisle, taking in all the dollar-y deals. The end of the last aisle brought us to the toddler panties. She mentioned that she didn’t have any Dora panties. I ‘mentioned’ that she didn’t really need them.  A friendly debate followed.  To make a long story short, this pregnant mama and her beautiful daughter ended up criss-cross-applesauce on the floor of Family Dollar. What started out as a conversation about new panties moved to onto life… school, family, the new baby, favorite things… regular old girl talk. I asked if she was ready to go. She said she just wanted to sit and talk a little longer. So we did. I eventually convinced her it was time to leave. So we paid for her new Dora panties and headed home.

I love spending time one-on-one with my girls. I get such a different insight into them than I do when they are together.  And for my quality time girl, it is so very necessary!  Her attitude took a complete 180 (well, maybe a 175, but I will consider that a success!!)  And that new attitude was so much easier to love. So much so, in fact, that by Sunday evening when I told her I loved her, this is the response I got: “Mommy. I know. You tell me that ALL the time!! You don’t need to say that everyday!”   Yep… she’s not a ‘words of affirmation’ type of girl!  But, unfortunately for her, I’m gonna keep on telling her. Everyday.