Quality Time

I’m not sure if you’ve spent much time studying Love Languages. But after spending over 4 years with my oldest, it has become unquestionable that her Love Language is Quality Time. And it becomes very apparent – in a 4 year old kind of way – when her love tank is EMPTY!  Her low fuel light has been glowing for a couple weeks, but instead of just filling her up, I thought I could get away with just putting in a gallon at a time.  That didn’t work. The kid needed a full tank of love…. And she needed it NOW.

So, Saturday morning, we went on a date.  I thought we could go to breakfast, just her and I, spend some time talking and just get caught up with each other.  She was in love with the idea!  I asked her where she wanted to go and she didn’t even have to think twice about it. “Remember that blue place next to CVS that has pancakes??!”  So, that’s where we went.

In my mind, breakfast was our date. We had a great time. I enjoyed eggs and she loved her Mickey Mouse pancake. We talked, we laughed. It was good to be one-on-one with her. We got into the van and I said something about going home.  Apparently she had different ideas, because she politely reminded me, “we still haven’t gone on our date!” So we spent 5 minutes discussing where we should go and what we should do. I nixed the idea of driving to the mall. She didn’t think CVS qualified as a date.  So we compromised. We stopped to visit Great Grandma for a bit and then headed off to Family Dollar (yes, I realize this will not count as ‘shopping’ when she gets older). We walked together, aisle by aisle, taking in all the dollar-y deals. The end of the last aisle brought us to the toddler panties. She mentioned that she didn’t have any Dora panties. I ‘mentioned’ that she didn’t really need them.  A friendly debate followed.  To make a long story short, this pregnant mama and her beautiful daughter ended up criss-cross-applesauce on the floor of Family Dollar. What started out as a conversation about new panties moved to onto life… school, family, the new baby, favorite things… regular old girl talk. I asked if she was ready to go. She said she just wanted to sit and talk a little longer. So we did. I eventually convinced her it was time to leave. So we paid for her new Dora panties and headed home.

I love spending time one-on-one with my girls. I get such a different insight into them than I do when they are together.  And for my quality time girl, it is so very necessary!  Her attitude took a complete 180 (well, maybe a 175, but I will consider that a success!!)  And that new attitude was so much easier to love. So much so, in fact, that by Sunday evening when I told her I loved her, this is the response I got: “Mommy. I know. You tell me that ALL the time!! You don’t need to say that everyday!”   Yep… she’s not a ‘words of affirmation’ type of girl!  But, unfortunately for her, I’m gonna keep on telling her. Everyday. 

Sweet Jada

Today you turn 3. I have mixed emotions about that.

On one hand, you never seemed ‘2’…. If it’s possible for a 2 year old to be wise beyond her years, you were! There are so many things about you – your speech, your play, your sense of humor, so many of your actions, your love and compassion – that put you up on your sister’s level. And she’s 4.

On the other hand, you are still our little baby in my eyes. Is it possible you've been in our lives for 3 years already?!

At three years old, you are still such a little cuddle-bug… there is nothing better than having you climb into my lap and lean your head on my shoulder just to sit for a moment. We learned early on that your love language is physical touch and I am more than happy to fill that love tank. I can never get enough hugs and kisses and snuggles from you!

A few weeks ago, you told me that 3-year-olds don’t suck their thumbs so you were planning to ‘kick the habit’ when you turned three.  I didn't hold my breath on that one… and it’s a good thing, because over the past week or so, it kind of became more of a joke for you. A laughing point whenever anyone brought it up. And when I mentioned it again this morning (hey… you can’t blame me for trying!) you promptly told me you were still 2. So for now, you will still suck your thumb. And along with that, it doesn't look like you will be giving up the belly button anytime soon either. That’s ok with me… because, really, there is nothing cuter than a little girl sucking her thumb and digging at her belly button while she looks at you with her deep brown eyes that say, “really, mom, I’m just that cute.” We still have 10 years before I need to worry about the orthodontist bills, so I’ll just enjoy that look for now.

Jada, you are my strong-willed child. There is no way we can pretend our way out of that truth. You are so independent. You want to have control. You don’t want to be told what to do. I would be lying if I told you this didn't present any challenges in parenting you. You and I have come head-to-head on several issues that we both want control over. Sometimes I want to let you have that control and other times I want you to realize that you are the toddler and I am the Mommy and you need to listen to me. It has been hard to find balance and compromise, but it is also sometimes humbling to see the way you can grow when I let go and let you be Jada.

If I had to pick one thing life to call your ‘favorite’ right now, it would have to be Eden. You love your sister more than I ever knew was physically possible! Where ever she is, that is where you want to be. Whatever she is doing, that is what you want to do. You also care so much about her. You don’t like to see her hurt or sad and you will often go out of your way to make her feel better… even if that means making sacrifices for yourself.

In a few weeks, you are going to switch roles. You are going to move from ‘little sister’ to ‘big sister’. There is no doubt in my mind that you will take the responsibility of big sister very seriously. You already take every opportunity you can to talk to your baby sister and love on Mommy’s belly. You tell her you love her every chance you get and you have prayed for her every night for the last seven months. This little baby is so very blessed to have you in her life!!

Jada, I am so grateful for the joy you have brought to our family! For the laughs, the loves, and the challenges. You are such a blessing and I am so grateful for the opportunity we have been given to be your earthly parents…. I can’t wait to see what the next year brings us. There is no doubt in my mind, whatever it is, you will make it interesting!! J

Love you forever,

Mommy

God is Love

If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.

If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing.

If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.  1 Corinthians 13:1-3 (MSG)

The Word tells us that God is Love.

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 1 John 4:8

Therefore...

If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't have God, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.

If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't have God, I'm nothing.

If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't have God, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without God.