Welcome Summer

First day of summer break. We have been anticipating this day for weeks....  (If I'm being honest, I think we've been ready for it ever since we got back to a regular schedule after the winter that would never end...)
As the school year wore on, mornings got harder and harder. And harder. By the time we got down to the last week, this is what our mornings looked like:
6:00am: Mommy's alarm starts being annoying
6:15ish am: Mommy reluctantly stumbles out of bed to the shower
6:35am: Eden's alarm starts. And gets snoozed
6:45am: Eden's alarm again. I shut it off and tell her she has 5 minutes (because, really, I need at least 5 more minutes to prepare for the fight)
6:55am: Mommy heads into the battlefield. What follows in the next 5-7 minutes is frightening and I'm not prepared to retell it without getting emotional. Things had the tendency to get ugly in that little loft bed. Kicking, screaming, crying, shouts of "i'm so tired", and other such nonsense. And then there was Eden's reactions..... :)
Somewhere in the midst of all of this, Jada and Kate managed to wake up in a pretty unceremonious way... a way that never seemed to cause me any angst or tears.
Somehow, every morning, we managed to get breakfast and get out of the house by 7:20 and get to school on time and we were all usually (usually...) smiling by the time we got there.

So, last night, as we prepared for bedtime, I sat the big girls on the couch with me to cover one very important rule that NEEDED to be obeyed the following morning... This was the only thing I was requiring of them for the first day of summer break (well, this and cleaning their room. whatever.)
THE RULE: I am not waking anybody up in the morning. And I don't expect anyone to wake me up, either. The end.
Of course, like everything else in this house, I get challenged.
Eden: I'm going to wake up really early!!!
Me: No, you are not. You will sleep.
Eden: I'm going to get up early and come wake you up {evil laugh}
Me: You better not!
Eden: Well, if I do wake up, can I come snuggle you as long as I'm quiet?
Me: Absolutely!

And this, my friends, is how June 5, 2014 started:
6:15am: Crying from the bathroom. An emergency wiping situation for Jada. I handled it with grace and brought her to bed with me. I WILL SLEEP.
6:24am: [11 minutes before the alarm normally went off, in case you are counting] Eden bounds into my room. Wide awake. Ready to go. TALKING.....
6:27am: Trying very hard to remain calm, I explain what time it is, how this relates to our normal schedule, and give a quick recap of the 1 rule for the day. For the most part, talking ceases. I almost fall asleep.
6:53am: My dear husband calls. When I answer, he laughs and says he was just calling to see if I was awake. He's lucky he actually had a legit reason to call. I hang up the phone and little girl chatter begins again.
7:00am: I give up.... we get out of bed.

At least the baby followed the rules.

Welcome summer.... I'm looking forward to hanging out with you.

and then she turned 6

Well, Eden turned 6 almost two months ago.... and apparently I never did the birthday blog??  Terrible mom, I am!

Dear Eden,

What can I say? You are such a happy kid!! You are upbeat and optimistic and giggly and smiley and so able to have fun doing absolutely anything! You have this awesome little laugh that never fails to put a smile on the face of anyone within earshot of you. And that smile of yours? It lights up a room!

So, this is obviously been a year of big changes for you because in August you started Kindergarten! As you mother, I definitely was not ready for this big step, but you couldn't wait! I wanted to walk you up to the door on the first day... you grabbed all your bags (that must have weighed at least as much as you do with all those supplies in them!) and just looked at me confidently and said, "I got this." And, of course, you did. So I just sat in the van and watched until you were safely inside. We can't ignore why I was so nervous... you didn't speak in public. This selective mutism thing has been a tough thing for me to swallow. Even though I survived it, I wasn't sure how you were going to make it through and how you were going to communicate. But you came home on the first day and told me you made a new best friend. I laughed to myself about it at the time, but 7 months later, she is still your best friend. And the best thing? It took you less than a month to start talking to her! You have made such big strides in your effort to find your brave voice. You still shut down in situations where there are a lot of people, but you are now talking to family and close friends when you are in public places - a year ago, home was your only 'safe place'.

You love to try new things, whether that is places, experiences, or food. You are starting to spread your wings and get excited to see what the world has to offer you. It is so exciting to watch you soak all this stuff in and sort it out and really decide for yourself what you love and what you enjoy.

Music still makes your heart beat. You love all kinds of music. You like to sing songs on the radio or songs you have made up your self. You asked for a guitar for Christmas and have had so much playing with that and singing along. I found out this week that you have been singing in music class at school. I can't say this surprises me... as much as you love to sing, I would have been shocked if this wasn't the first place you tested the waters of opening your mouth at school. Your music teacher was thrilled when she noticed this!

This year you did a cheerleading clinic at school and got to cheer at a donkey basketball game. We all know that I am not a huge fan of cheerleaders, but I have not (and will not for awhile) shared that opinion with you because I want you to do what you truly love. It was great to watch your confidence as you went to practice every week and even as you performed on that Saturday morning. I love that you don't put any limitations on yourself. You truly believe that you can do anything you want to do. Please don't ever lose that self-assurance!

You started a ballet class last fall and are really enjoying that. I like getting sneak peaks of your recital routine... I can't wait to see the whole thing this spring! The best part about this class is the fact that when we went to the first class just a few weeks after school started, we found out that your new-found best friend was in the same class. You have really loved this extra time with her.

For you birthday party this year, you really wanted to have all the girls in your class come over to play... we made a compromise and you got to choose two friend to go bowling with one day after school. It was a fun girls day and it was so wonderful to watch you be able to let down your guard and just talk and laugh and play with your friends. I can't wait until the day that you are so carefree in all areas of your life.

Eden, you are such a joy. I'm so blessed to be your mom. I enjoy the time I get to spend with you, I love the chats we have, and I love watching you learn and grow and change. You have a wonderful heart and I'm proud to say you are my daughter.

Let's enjoy year 7 together and see how much more you grow and change!!

Love,

Mommy

a letter to that well-meaning lady at the grocery store....

Dear sweet lady at the grocery store,
You looked at me this morning as I juggled my two youngest children, you smiled sweetly and told me this age is the most fun. I just want to apologize to you, because I could not even find enough decency inside me to acknowledge what you said... not with words or even with a smile. I think if I would have tried,  I would have just cried, so the best thing I could do was stare at you blankly then turn and walk away. Because this is the thing - I am tired. So, so stinkin' tired. I don't know if you happened to get a good look at my youngest... the little one always trying to walk away from me because she is so curious about everything around her, the one with eyes so deep and brown they will swallow you whole if you look too long, the one that looks sweeter than anybody you've ever met. Truth is, she IS the sweetest thing! There's not much NOT to love about that little booger!! But she doesn't like to sleep. And, unfortunately, she apparently doesn't need much sleep to function properly. She only takes one short nap every day, and for the last two week, she's decided that night time is a perfect time for a couple more short-ish naps. So, she's been getting by on approximately 5 hours of sleep every night... the other hours are spent screaming. SCREAMING.  Cry-it-out doesn't work in our family. Never has. 3 kids and none of them have ever cried themselves to sleep. They just cry. While I've never let them go longer than 1 hour, I can only assume it would continue, and I can't handle that. So, I have been giving in in the middle of the night and just holding her so that, if for no other reason, the rest of the family stays asleep. But last night, I was sooooo over it and I performed my own 'night-time training' with the 15 month old. Which means I slept approximately 3 hours. Which means I am emotional. And that's why you got nothing from me - to save you (and me) from the tears. And I'm sorry. Because, you know what, you are right... these are awesome ages! I can't confirm whether or not they are the best ages - I only have 6 years experience and so far each stage has honestly been the best stage ever. I love being a mom! But, I'm making an educated guess based on your appearance and assuming it's been quite awhile since you've raised your own little ones. I would even go so far as to assume that your grandkids are now raising their own children! So, I'm going to politely remind you that these 'best years' are so emotionally and physically exhausting. And I know I need to savor these moments, these days, these years. And I'm trying. But I have days like I've had the last 2 weeks and honestly sometimes it's really hard. I've had tough times before as a mom, so I know that this, too, shall pass, and even though it seems like an unending black abyss that I'm in right now, I will look back on it and it will seem like it was over in a heartbeat. It just doesn't feel that way today.
So, thanks for telling me my daughters are beautiful and fun. I'm sorry I didn't take the opportunity when I had it to thank you and agree with you. Keep encouraging moms when you see them. Just don't judge them if they don't respond how you think they should. Because you just never know where they are right now in their parenting journey, and they just might not have the energy to respond to you in a socially acceptable way!
Sincerely,
Your fellow early morning grocery shopper

it's still winter here.

Dear January,
I need to be honest with you.... I was not sad to see you go. You brought us lots (and lots and lots and lots) of beautiful snow. For that, I am grateful. The middle of winter is much happier for me when the ground is covered with a beautiful white blanket of snow. But with that gorgeous snow, you brought really, really, really cold weather. Bitterly cold. Dangerously cold. Because of this combination of snow and cold, you forced us to stay inside. It's not that we chose to stay home. We were not allowed to leave. It wasn't safe. Lots of snow days. Lots of snowed in days. Lots of no school/no work/no church days. I truly loved the extra family time. It taught us new ways to be with each other and I really feel that we all appreciate each other more. However, as January 31st came to a close, I found myself longing for something new. Something not so cold and snowy. Something that involved activities outside of our house and with other people. A fresh start, if you will. So, with that, I said goodbye to you with a smile on my face......

Dear February,
Did you hear what I said to January?? Because I feel like you weren't really listening. I woke up to the largest snowflakes I have seen in quite some time. Big. HUGE. So much more snow. I could try to put my feelings into words, but really I think Eden summed it up better than I would ever be able to do on my own. Sitting at the breakfast table, she looked out the window then looked back at me and said, with a look of true disappointment (and a bit of frustration), "I really didn't expect February to be like this!"  But don't you worry, February, we aren't going to let you get us down. We put on our snow clothes and went outside. We dug a snow tunnel and threw snowballs and finally built that snowman we've been talking about all winter. And we did this all while it was raining. Because this is Indiana. So, in a blink of an eye that snow turned to rain. It's cool, February, it's cool. We'll roll with your punches. Because I know that, eventually, June WILL show up. And we will be ready....

rough playground.

No school today, so the girls are enjoying some long overdue sister time.
While they are playing school, I overhear this concerning conversation ....
J: "Teacher, the boys are not letting us on the slide!"
E: Responding with what is, apparently, the only logical solution, "OK, i will call the police."

.... that'll teach 'em!!

Happy 1st Birthday, Kate

Dear Kate,

As I rocked you to sleep tonight, listening to ‘Carol of the Bells’, I was suddenly overwhelmed with the flashbacks… 365 days ago I held you tight in my arms in a dark hospital room singing Christmas songs to you as I rocked you to sleep just a few hours after you were born. You fit so snuggly in my arms… such a tiny little munchkin. You were already trying to suck your thumb as you gazed up at me and I already knew you were going to march to the beat of your own little drum. And here we are, 1 year later. I still love to snuggle you, but you sure don’t fit in one arm anymore. As I hold you with both my arms, your arms and legs dangle, you are able to lay your head on my shoulder as you sit on my lap.

Has it really been a year?!

It really has been… and what a fun year it has been. I love being your mom. I love snuggling you and playing with you and watching you grow and learn new things.

You are such a happy, content, joy-filled baby. You are full of smiles and giggles and hugs and kisses. Those smiles truly melt my heart.

Your face lights up when you see a loved one. You are not afraid of new people – you are definitely going to be my most outgoing child!

From the very beginning, you have been eager to be bigger than you need to be. I suppose you just want to keep up with your big sisters. I learned early on that I wasn’t going to be able to stop you from trying to be a big girl, so I’m choosing to sit back and watch you go…and you are giving me a very entertaining show!

You love to play with baby dolls. I think you were probably about 6 months old the first time you picked up a baby doll and just absolutely loved on her. You instinctively knew how to cradle her and rock her. You have since moved on to feeding your babies and bathing them and playing with them. If I was a betting woman, I’d bet you are going to be a great mom!!

You are learning to walk… you are actually pretty decent at it, but for now you are still choosing to crawl most of the time because it is so much faster.

I have loved experiencing so many ‘firsts’ with you this year… first smile, first giggles, first time you reached for me, first time you said ‘mama’ and meant it, first time you crawled, first steps, you even managed to eek in your first tooth before this very first birthday!

Kate, the day you were born all I could do is look at you and marvel at how perfect you were. 1 year later, the post-delivery hormones have long since worn off and I still consider you so, so perfect! 2013 has been a wonderful  year, made so much more perfect because you were here with us… a perfect addition to this crazy family.

I can’t wait to spend your second year with you!!

Love you,

Mommy

Kate Elizabeth - 1 hour

Kate Elizabeth - 1 year

Heard Around the House {November Edition}

• "Um, yeah, but I wish our minivan had a bow on top of it!" -Jada; hmmm... a 'Minnie-van', perhaps?
• "Really, Daddy? Really?!! You're watching football again??" -Eden; yep, it's a Sunday afternoon.
• "Eden! I have a great idea. Your pretend name can be Katy and mine can be Perry!" -Jada; that girl loves her some Katy Perry. [Mother hangs her head in shame. This is my fault.]
• "If I have a lot of kids when I grow up, I will just sell some of them." -Eden; a variation of this comes up every time we talk about adoption. Try as I may, I apparently am not doing a great job explaining what adoption is.
• "I was just gonna say, if I stay out here a little longer.... we could snuggle!!! ....just sayin'..." -Jada; after I told her repeatedly she needed to go back to bed - she has a bad habit of sneaking back out after Eden falls asleep. Honestly, she almost got me with that snuggle offer... you should have heard how sweet she made it sound.