And now she's 5!

Oh, Jada, you are 5!! It's just so hard to believe. I tried to stop this from happening. I asked you if you would just please stay 4 forever. You did consider it for a moment, but growing up won out. I guess you just couldn't stand that thought that you might miss out on something if you stayed right where you were. In the end, I think that was probably a good decision.

Just like every other year, you've experienced big changes in the past year. In January, you got your first haircut. For some reason, that was a big deal for me, but you didn't second guess it at all! You asked for a haircut a few months earlier and I was able to talk you out of it but this time you had your mind made up and there was no way I was changing it. We cut off nearly 7 inches!! You know what is even more incredible than that?? Last week you decided you wanted another hair cut... and we took off over 5 inches this time!! And you know what? Long hair or short hair.... you are beautiful either way! Your big brown eyes melt my heart every day and that smile of yours could light up a room!

In August, you welcomed another baby sister into your life. You so badly wanted a brother this time around, but the moment you met Miss Brenna, it was love at first sight. I haven't heard you talk even once about a boy since that day. You love being big enough to really be a big helper this time. You enjoy holding Brenna, talking to her and playing with her, and being able to carry her around.

The biggest change you've seen this year is starting school. You are having such a great time! One of the best parts of my day is picking you up from school because you are so excited to tell me what you did and what you learned. Not that you really need preschool.... you can write all your letters and numbers and are already learning how to spell some words, and yesterday you randomly started counting and got all the way up to 109 before you stopped. Amazing!! You don't talk at school... basically because you are stubborn! :) You talked to your teacher one time, but only did that because I promised you a prize. You are a bit shy, so I think you are just playing the shy card as long as you can... just because you know nobody will force you to talk. Live it up, girly, you won't be silent forever!

Jada, I absolutely love your heart and compassion for others. You just love doing kind things for others. You thrive on helping other people and never expect anything in return. This is an amazing gift that you have and I can't wait to see how it blossoms as you grow.

You are still a funny, witty kid. Kate is old enough now that she is challenging you for the award of "Funniest kid in the House", but she brings the slapstick-type comedy to the table while you have the gift of words. You don't have to try to be funny... you just are funny. You say things that make you sound way older that you really are, and that's just funny coming from a 5 year old!

Your best friend right now is Maggie Mast and you can't wait to start Kindergarten with her next year. You also love hanging out with the Watts boys. You all get along so well and it is fun to watch all you kids play together.

Currently, your favorite movie is Frozen. You love Anna and want to be her every time you play Frozen.

You may be 5, but you still love your snuggles. I love being able to give you snuggles when you need them and I hope you never outgrow them!! My favorite is when you are so aware that that is what you need - you will just come to me and say, "I haven't been getting enough snuggles!" How can a mom turn down an invitation like that??

There was a time this summer that I thought I lost you. I never, ever want to experience that again! We were at a celebration at church. We ate dinner outside and there were bounce houses and fun things there for kids to do. We were getting ready to go inside for a worship service and stopped at the drink table because one of your sisters was thirsty. For 10 seconds I turned away from you, and when I turned back, you were gone. GONE. I looked all around and you were no where. I stepped inside and didn't see you. I went back outside and you still weren't there. I immediately started to panic, even though I knew you couldn't have gone far and there was no one there that would hurt you. But one of my babies was lost and that is the worst feeling ever. I freaked out and was just walking back and forth from the church to the parking lot while other people actually effectively looked for you. It only took about 5 minutes for someone to find you. Our good friend Jeff came walking out of the church with a smile on his face and a Jada on his hand. Do you know where you were?? In the sanctuary. Sitting where we sit every Sunday. I never really thought about the fact that we had 'a spot' in the church until Jeff told me you were sitting in 'our seats'. After I got done crying, I laughed. You confidently walked into the church and sat where you knew we would sit and you had no idea what was happening outside. For the rest of the night I just kept looking at you, thankful that you were there and acutely aware of how much I truly love you. You were only 'gone' for a few minutes and you were only a few hundred feet away, but it felt like a lifetime. Don't you dare ever scare me like that again!!

I have discovered in the last 6 months that you love helping in the kitchen... I wish I would have known that earlier! You like baking, helping with dinner, and even setting the table and doing dishes. We have a dishwasher, but you will still occasionally ask to do dishes. Although last time you did them, I thanked you and praised you, and you just looked at my very seriously and said, "But, you know, last time I did dishes, you gave me a quarter." Wow. So, I laughed and did even better this time... I gave you FOUR NICKELS!! I'm such an awesome mom (I wonder how old you be when you realize the value of all those coins...)

My sweet Jada, you are a fabulous little sister, an amazing big sister, and a most incredible daughter!! I love you with my whole heart and all of my soul. I'm so glad God placed you in our family.. we are blessed to call you ours. I look forward to many more years of celebrating you and I can't wait to meet the young girl you grow into.

Love you soooo much,

Mommy

It's Preschool time again...

September brought another big milestone for our family... it was officially Jada's turn for preschool! She was excited and I was excited for her. I was also excited for myself, because this was my my second go-round with preschool, so I wasn't nervous at all. I knew what to expect and knew there was no reason to get worked up. I was also comforted in the fact that Jada is such a confident little girl and I knew that she would walk into this with no turning back - just like Eden did. So imagine my surprise when it was time to leave and I was suddenly overcome with emotion. My little girl was going to school. For months I had been teasing her that I wasn't going to let her go to school. That I was just going to keep her home with me so I wouldn't have to miss her. So she could stay home and be my big helper. And now suddenly it was go time. And I really did just wanted to keep that little girl home with me and snuggle her for 3 hours instead of sending her out into the big scary world without me. But obviously that wasn't an option, so I put on my brave mommy face, we hopped into the truck, I snapped an adorable picture of her, and we headed out.

On the way to school, I asked her if she was excited. She told me no - she was nervous. That is NOT what I needed to hear. It took everything I had inside me to not hit the brakes, turn around, and go back home. Because I knew she was going to love it there. She just needed her scared mommy to take her there. I wanted her to know she was going to be ok, so I asked her if she wanted me to pray for her. My heart absolutely melted when she looked at me with those big, brown eyes, nodded her head, and asked me to, yes, please pray for her. As soon as I started, I wasn't sure I would be able to make it through without losing it. But I had to... I couldn't show fear to my nervous girl. We prayed, we got to school, I dropped her off. And then I lost it... I cried like a baby all the way home.

What happened to me?! Besides the fact that I made a really rookie mistake by assuming this would be easy and therefore not preparing myself emotionally, I think the big thing was that this girl does such a good job of showing her strong, independent side, that I often overlook her super sensitive, innocent side. She has such a hard outer shell, but that shell is protecting an incredibly soft, passionate, sensitive, loving heart. I love that heart of hers. She gets her heart from her dad and her shell from her mom. And it's that truth that make me love her heart so much. Her shell is the same as mine, so often that's all I see of her. But when I stop and peel back that shell to really see her heart, I fall so much more in love with her. That's what happened when I took her to school on that very first day. I listened to her sweet voice and I heard her heart and she sucked me in. And I was reminded that she wasn't a strong-willed, independent adult. She is a super fragile 4 year old just trying to protect herself. And I want to protect her, too, which is exactly why I wanted to keep her home. 

But I took her to school. She got out, didn't look back, and walked right into the school. And had a fantastic day!!! And I got to hear all about it when I picked her up 3 hours later as her face displayed a smile that beamed from ear to ear.

Letting our kids grow up is so hard to do... but it is also amazingly fun!!

I'm proud of you, Jada, and I can't wait to see how much your grow and change this year!

Selective Mutism

October is Selective Mutism Awareness month.
I haven't mentioned this for 2 reasons: 1- I had no idea this was the case until a few days ago. 2- there are several other life threatening things that have awareness months that are much more deserving of our attention.
However, I feel awareness is important because that's really all this disorder needs. These kids need people to understand them and be aware of why they are silent!
BUT, the only reason I bring this up now is because of this VERY EXCITING announcement... Eden TALKED to her teacher yesterday!! This is such a big deal, people... HUGE for her! And this is my proud mommy moment and I just wanted to share it with you all because you are my friends and family. (However, don't say anything to her about it because that would embarrass her and potentially be a setback)
She whisper-read 3 books to her teacher. Up to this point, she hadn't uttered a single word to any of her teachers. Ever.
She has 2 'whisper buddies' at school that I am so grateful for. One of them is her best friend. She came home from her first day of Kindergarten last year and informed me that she had a new best friend. I laughed it off that day. Two weeks later we had a play date with the BFF and her mom. It only took about 15 minutes for Eden to start talking and laughing with her friend that day. That's when I knew this relationship was as real as it gets for 5 year olds and it needed to be fostered. It is because of this sweet girl that my daughter was able to communicate with her teacher last year. Anything Eden needed to say, she whispered to her friend and her friend told her teacher. Not ideal, but perfect for Eden.
Her second whisper buddy was in her class last year and is in her class again this year. Because of that familiarity, she was comfortable enough to make this friend her classroom buddy this year.
Eden has done all of her oral reading with this buddy this year. Occasionally her teacher would ask Eden to read with her, but as much as Eden wanted to, she wasn't able to. But her desire overcame her fear yesterday!!
I am so, so, so thankful for all the fabulous teachers that Eden has been blessed with so far. They have loved her and made her comfortable and have all been a part of this milestone... because none of them shut her down or shut her out. And I'm especially grateful for this teacher that was doing it right when it mattered. Eden could have been ready any time, and I'm so glad that when the time came she was met with a teacher that was patient and open to whatever Eden was ready for.
We still have big steps to make, but I think this one was the biggest. School is the hardest place for SM kids to use their brave voices. I'm not sure what it is, but most SM kids have their biggest struggles in school. In some situations, the school is considered emotionally contaminated... those kids will never be able to speak in school (unless they are otherwise 'cured' and are able to move to a new school and start fresh). I am so glad this is not the case for our daughter! I overcame my SM when I was in 1st grade... my prayer has always been that Eden would be over it by then, too... It appears that we are now on the fast track, folks, and I'm so excited!!